My good friend Justin presented me and Griffin with a premise for a video series we should start working on. The premise:
Glenn, Justin, Griffin are forced to live in an abandoned clocktower, as it is the only real estate within their means. Unfortunately every week, a different historical figure shows up and ruins their lives.
I think the idea has great comic potential. And so, I give you a list of fifty historical figures who may come to ruin our lives:
1. Richard Nixon
2. James Watt
3. Francisco de Balboa
4. Eli Whitney
5. George Washington Carver
6. Thomas More
7. Kierkegaard
8. Cleopatra
9. Ferdinand Magellan
10. Carmen Miranda
11. Busby Berkeley
12. Che Guevara
13. Leonardo da Vinci
14. Lorenzo di Medici
15. Niccolo Macchiavelli
16. Oliver Cromwell
17. Cardinal Richelieu
18. King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella
19. Joan of Arc
20. Napoleon
21. Genghis Khan
22. Chairman Mao
23. Confucius
24. Schrodinger
25. Catherine the Great
26. Alexander the Great
27. Ivan the Terrible
28. Erik the Red
29. JFK
30. RFK
31. JFK, Jr.
32. Sonny Bono
33. Timothy Leary
34. Charlie Chaplin
35. John Lennon and George Harrison
36. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
37. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
38. Lord Byron
39. Mary Shelley and Percy Bysse Shelley
40. Lord Kelvin
41. John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich
42. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
43. Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter
44. Walt Whitman
45. Gugliemo Marconi
46. Henry Ford
47. Orville and Wilbur Wright
48. Pol Pot
49. Stradivarius
50. Frank Lloyd Wright
Sunday, May 10, 2009
100 Dungeons and Dragons Tavern Names
I wrote a list of 100 D&D Tavern Names. I wish I knew why.
Oh, I remember why: I'm a huge geek.
1. The Fertile Soil
2. The Sleeping Dragon
3. The Trusting Sailor
4. The Crow's Nest
5. The Happy Halfling
6. The Ancient Elf
7. The Smiling Jackal
8. The Sneezing Walrus
9. The Starving Weasel
10. The Lucky Traveller
11. The Thirsty Lemur
12. The Cock and Hen
13. The Ball and Chain
14. The Fish and Whistle
15. The Satyr's Revenge
16. The Weeping Widow
17. The Missing Orphan -- Best Meat Pies in Town!
18. The Chubby Friar
19. The Drowned King
20. Bloodbath & Beyond
21. Darling Dana's Den of Debauchery - UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT (Now a stuffy, clean and, above all, quiet wine bar run by an elf named Piotr. There's a dress code, and barely any prostitutes.)
22. The Spot (The hip tavern, frequented by hot young adventurers that make your party feel old)
23. The Bleeding Predator
24. The Job (So you can tell your wife you've got to spend a late night at the Job)
25. The Filthy Commoner
26. The Scorned Woman
27. The Tended Garden (the working girls here have a reputation for their unusual... landscaping)
28. The Moose and Squirrel
29. The Sleep and Drink
30. The Eat and Drink
31. The Sleep Inn
32. The Sneaking Goblin
33. The Stinking Orc
34. The Stupid Ogre
35. The Filthy Kobold
36. The Ugly Westerner
37. The Cheating Southerner
38. The Twisted Blade
39. The Knotted Arrow
40. The Locked Scabbard
41. The Bated Dagger
42. The Envenomed Blade
43. The Sleeping Snake
44. The Crunchy Frog
45. The Frozen Yeti
46. The Blinded Beholder
47. The Ill Illithid
48. The Jealous Giant
49. The Nasty Gnoll
50. The Flaming Troll
51. The Generous Guest
52. The Tipping Traveller
53. The Destitute Barmaid
54. The Golden Showers Gambling Paradise
55. The Gilded Lily
56. The Silver Stream
57. The Platinum Hammer
58. The Copper Plate
59. The Tin Whistle
60. The Burlap Sack
61. Henry Hatsworth's Horrible Hotel - Hot Heaping Helpings of Hash, Helpful Hirelings, Hard Hooch & Whores, Whores, Whores!
62. The Severed Hand
63. The Missing Finger
64. The Skinned Thief
65. The Wandering Eye
66. The Travelling Hands
67. The Forced March
68. The Welcome Rest
69. The Easy Lay - Loosest Women in Town!
70. The Dragon's Bane
71. The Sleeping Bear
72. The Mangled Minotaur
73. The Burning Zombie
74. The Burning Witch
75. The Jeweled Dagger
76. The Jewel of (City)
77. The Leaking Bucket
78. The Crusty Bread - Best Sandwiches in Town!
79. The Murdered Merchant
80. The Choking Child
81. The Budgeoned Blacksmith
82. The Burned Barmaid
83. The Flayed Fisherman
84. The Flaming Fletcher
85. The Flogged Farmer
86. The Mangled Mason
87. The Asphyxiated Aristocrat
88. The Hanged Highwayman
89. The Poisoned Priest
90. The Wasted Wizard
91. The Plagued Pirate
92. The Sacrificed Salesman
93. The Clobbered Cleric
94. The Maimed Messenger
95. The Creeping Fog
96. The Black Clouds
97. The Raging Crabs
98. The Drowning Baby
99. The Selfish Trader
100. The Wheel and Axle - Purveyors of Fyne Food and Exotick Drynk From Across the Known Wyrld
Oh, I remember why: I'm a huge geek.
1. The Fertile Soil
2. The Sleeping Dragon
3. The Trusting Sailor
4. The Crow's Nest
5. The Happy Halfling
6. The Ancient Elf
7. The Smiling Jackal
8. The Sneezing Walrus
9. The Starving Weasel
10. The Lucky Traveller
11. The Thirsty Lemur
12. The Cock and Hen
13. The Ball and Chain
14. The Fish and Whistle
15. The Satyr's Revenge
16. The Weeping Widow
17. The Missing Orphan -- Best Meat Pies in Town!
18. The Chubby Friar
19. The Drowned King
20. Bloodbath & Beyond
21. Darling Dana's Den of Debauchery - UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT (Now a stuffy, clean and, above all, quiet wine bar run by an elf named Piotr. There's a dress code, and barely any prostitutes.)
22. The Spot (The hip tavern, frequented by hot young adventurers that make your party feel old)
23. The Bleeding Predator
24. The Job (So you can tell your wife you've got to spend a late night at the Job)
25. The Filthy Commoner
26. The Scorned Woman
27. The Tended Garden (the working girls here have a reputation for their unusual... landscaping)
28. The Moose and Squirrel
29. The Sleep and Drink
30. The Eat and Drink
31. The Sleep Inn
32. The Sneaking Goblin
33. The Stinking Orc
34. The Stupid Ogre
35. The Filthy Kobold
36. The Ugly Westerner
37. The Cheating Southerner
38. The Twisted Blade
39. The Knotted Arrow
40. The Locked Scabbard
41. The Bated Dagger
42. The Envenomed Blade
43. The Sleeping Snake
44. The Crunchy Frog
45. The Frozen Yeti
46. The Blinded Beholder
47. The Ill Illithid
48. The Jealous Giant
49. The Nasty Gnoll
50. The Flaming Troll
51. The Generous Guest
52. The Tipping Traveller
53. The Destitute Barmaid
54. The Golden Showers Gambling Paradise
55. The Gilded Lily
56. The Silver Stream
57. The Platinum Hammer
58. The Copper Plate
59. The Tin Whistle
60. The Burlap Sack
61. Henry Hatsworth's Horrible Hotel - Hot Heaping Helpings of Hash, Helpful Hirelings, Hard Hooch & Whores, Whores, Whores!
62. The Severed Hand
63. The Missing Finger
64. The Skinned Thief
65. The Wandering Eye
66. The Travelling Hands
67. The Forced March
68. The Welcome Rest
69. The Easy Lay - Loosest Women in Town!
70. The Dragon's Bane
71. The Sleeping Bear
72. The Mangled Minotaur
73. The Burning Zombie
74. The Burning Witch
75. The Jeweled Dagger
76. The Jewel of (City)
77. The Leaking Bucket
78. The Crusty Bread - Best Sandwiches in Town!
79. The Murdered Merchant
80. The Choking Child
81. The Budgeoned Blacksmith
82. The Burned Barmaid
83. The Flayed Fisherman
84. The Flaming Fletcher
85. The Flogged Farmer
86. The Mangled Mason
87. The Asphyxiated Aristocrat
88. The Hanged Highwayman
89. The Poisoned Priest
90. The Wasted Wizard
91. The Plagued Pirate
92. The Sacrificed Salesman
93. The Clobbered Cleric
94. The Maimed Messenger
95. The Creeping Fog
96. The Black Clouds
97. The Raging Crabs
98. The Drowning Baby
99. The Selfish Trader
100. The Wheel and Axle - Purveyors of Fyne Food and Exotick Drynk From Across the Known Wyrld
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Response to a misleading Craigslist ad.
2 PSL's for NY Jets - 50 yard line - $1
"I am offering the rights to two 50 yard line (Sec: 131 - Row:37) and under cover personal seat licenses for the NY Jets at their new stadium. These are Great Hall Club seats. $30,000 each"
"I am offering the rights to two 50 yard line (Sec: 131 - Row:37) and under cover personal seat licenses for the NY Jets at their new stadium. These are Great Hall Club seats. $30,000 each"
I would like to purchase your two fifty yard line club seats for your posted price of one dollar each.
You say in the text of the ad $30,000 each, but that seems like a lot more than you posted in the headline. I'm more than willing to pay the price you give in the headline, but upping it thirty-thousand percent in the body of the ad is either a gross miscalculation on your part or you don't understand how writing an ad works.
When I search on craigslist for Jets tickets with a maximum price set at say, oh, one hundred dollars and I see that someone is selling tickets for a dollar, I think "Hey, great, someone really must need to get rid of their tickets." I'm not thinking "Well, I guess I should spend three hundred times more than I can afford to".
If the price is 30K per ticket, put that in the headline. Putting $1 in the headline doesn't trick anybody into buying your tickets, it just makes you look like an idiot or an asshole.
If the price genuinely is one dollar per ticket, then I apologize for my harsh language and genuinely wish to purchase your tickets.
But you're probably just being an asshole.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Well, here it is.
You've been asking me for years when I would start a blog to put all my musings and rantings and ravings and ramblings and scramblings and shamblings and tales of my gamblings into one compact place for you to read.
Well, here it is.
Well, here it is.
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